“Save fuel” is the slogan everywhere, not only because its getting used-up very quickly, but also because it costs too much. As a general practice, I turn off my vehicle at traffic signals when they are RED. On my usual route to the office, I’ve to stop at 5 such traffic signals. Over the years (its going to be 2 soon), I’ve understood the pattern in which these signals change, and so I act accordingly.

Last week, one fine morning, I was waiting for my lane to become GREEN as usual, when suddenly out of turn it did so. I didn’t understand what happened, but started and moved anyway. Perhaps God wanted me to understand what’s happening, so just about 200 metres ahead, my bike collided with another. The other guy fell down, and got hurt quite seriously, but I was still upright on my bike. After he was sent to the hospital, I realized that my speedometer wire had snapped. I called office to tell that I’ll be a little late.

I took a U-turn and crossed the same signal again, to go towards the service centre. Alas, the service centre didn’t have the required spare part to replace. As it wasn’t critical for the bike to work, I decided to go to office with the damage still there. Now when I crossed the same signal the third time I realized something wonderful.

The traffic signal had become intelligent. It was automatically switching empty lanes to RED and the ones with lot of vehicles waiting to GREEN. In my college years and intern-ships, I’ve worked on and came across numerous projects in Computer Vision that try to solve this problem. It was a good experience to have come across an actual practical implementation of the same. Kudos to the person who built this, and hoping that it’ll help solve traffic problems on a larger scale than just an experiment on one of the traffic signals.

Adiós.

Phew! Let me take a deep breath and pause for a moment. Life is going too fast, too turbulent, too hectic, too many people, too many things to do, too many things to avoid, too much information, too much misinformation, too much of everything. I’m caught up in a turbulent river’s flow, not able to steer, just barely managing to keep myself afloat. Everyday begins in a hurry, get ready and run to office (well, not actually run, but pretty much race my bike), run back home in late evenings, rush through some pending work, and race with the night to get some sleep before its morning again.

Well, actually, I took a break a week ago - a full 10 day vacation sitting at home. Many reasons, including but not limited to, my parents’ 25th wedding anniversary, my cousin brother’s 1st wedding anniversary and another cousin’s birthday. Along with that, I got my tooth (rather teeth) drilled and filled with cement. I know, I know, I should brush and all, and I do that, they were just long pending tooth decay.

Anyway, coming back to the main topic, May 2009 seems like a busy unending vicious circle. Everyday, I go towards office thinking that this will be the day I’ll finally solve the challenging problems I am facing. Every evening I return from office, thinking that I’ll catch up with more friends, finish some personal work, read a book perhaps and write on this blog. Every night, I sleep thinking that I’ll be able to get enough sleep and tomorrow will be better. I need a teeny-weeny break to break this chain. To make things start rolling again.

Here’s hoping for a better tomorrow. Adios.

How many of you fear needles (the ones used in hospitals)? Well, at least I do. And this fear hasn’t left me even after uncountable injections that I’ve received. People just say, its just a prick, its smaller than a wound or anything like that. Why do you fear it?

How do wounds occur? You’re just playing or working, when suddenly due to some mishap, you get a big cut. And if you could ever predict you would get a cut, you wouldn’t do that thing. Now imagine the following scenario.

You call the doctor and take an appointment date. You go to the hospital and wait for your turn. When your name is called, you go in a small room where they make you sit on a high chair. Then someone comes and cleans your arm with antiseptic lotion. Then he takes a knife, and very carefully peels off some part of your skin. Probably the wound he makes isn’t even close to the random unannounced accident.

I think its not about the small prick, its more about the build-up. The whole scene, the hospital environment, the waiting and then the actual act. Nonetheless, we must understand, its all in our mind. The nurse who is doing it is well trained, the syringes are new and unused, and you’d come out alive (rather pretty much the same).

Annual health checkups are a very essential thing, and everyone should have them. I am really fortunate that my company provides this facility to all its employees for free. But still, the damn needle hurts yaar.

Everyday we see numerous commercials about so many products. In every one of them, they show a unique feature of the product, reasons why you should choose this brand over others. “Zero to sixty in 5 seconds” is one popular phrase used by some bike manufacturers. Today, when I was on the road, I was just casually riding the bike. I noticed the speedometer - it read 65 kmph - it hadn’t been 5 seconds that I had started from zero. Nonetheless, it wasn’t a big deal, I have a bike and it just works.

Imagine what happens when your computer just hangs, or there is a big power outage. We curse that thing so so much, what the hell, why doesn’t it work, its a piece of crap. These days I am facing the same thing, not with some external thing, but my own lower lip. Suddenly out of the blue, it has got a mouth ulcer and some kind of allergy on the outside too. And simple things like eating an apple have become difficult. It is only now that I can feel how much my lips stretch around the apple when I bite it, when I chew it, when I swallow it and even when I rub off the dripping apple juice from my lips.

Maybe failure of these essential entities in our life are a signal, a way of reminding us about their importance. A way of helping us appreciate their marvel and how amazingly well they work when they do. Time and again, I’ve had accidents, illness, bee-bites, and so I understand well how my body parts contribute to my comfort and ease of living.

Well, anyway, I pray to the almighty lower lip that I’ve understood what you’re worth and I’ll always love you, cherish you and take care of you. I’ve learned my lesson, and with all my humbleness, I really really request you that you resume your services as soon as humanly lower-liply possible.

Every morning, I wait at 3 traffic signals for my turn to go through. If I’m very lucky, the signal is green when I approach. If I’m lucky, the queue is short. If its a normal day, I’ve to wait for two or more times for it to turn from green-to-red-to-green. There is nothing I can really do about time wasted at traffic signals (except getting up at 6 am, and leaving for office at 7).

Whenever I decide to take up a task - eating dinner, reading a book, sending an email, starting work, anything - I first look at the time, select the next 30 minute slot, and then return to what I was doing before. Something like, oh its 1:04 pm, lets begin this thing at 1:30. More often than not, I end up wasting those 26 minutes, without any fruitful activity. I see the time, oh its 1:31, damn I missed the time slot, lets begin at 2:00 pm. Finally, I “actually” begin at 3 pm, wasting 116 minutes!

This way of doing things is really something internal to me, and its hard to get away from it. Instead, I decided to change the round-off interval. What if I round-off at 10 minutes or even 5? At 1:04 pm, I’d decide the first time slot to be 1:10 pm. Though, I’d still “actually” begin at 2:00 pm, but it’ll help me save some 60 odd minutes in my life.

The hardest part is to train yourself to think in 10 minute slots instead of 30. And the second hardest part is to remember to check the time every 10 minutes. I’ve been lagging at both at the moment. My aim is to reduce this slot duration to 1 minute, so that I can begin doing the task as soon as I decide to, when the motivation levels are the highest, when the thought is fresh and in my short term memory.

This is something Amit and I have been working on since a couple of weeks. He has already moulded himself to think in 15 minute slots, and shorten it to 5 minute slots if he misses too many of them. Really awesome! I need to pull up my socks and make it happen. Does anyone want to join us?

More than half a billion seconds ago, something happened that changed my life completely. What was it? Well, to put it in simple words, I was born. The journey of millions of moments, thousands of experiences, hundreds of phases - let me recollect what it is that makes me what I am today. This person - Anurag Singh Rana - means so many things to so many people, organizations, institutions. Everyone has a definition of him in their own perspectives - an angel, a demon, a friend, an enemy, a competitor, a co-worker, a sub-ordinate, a relation, a villain, an arrogant person, a loser, a winner, an inspiration, a piece of shit.

The beginning

I was born on 30th January, 1986 at 9:29 AM IST. I was a cesarean baby, left handed by birth with a big skull. My parents were worried if I was abnormal or retarded. Till the age of 5, I used to live in a village. English wasn’t something I knew beyond rat cat bat. We used to run around in the hospital campus (my parents were posted as doctors in that place), the green fields, the village market, and the single long road (which was the highway). It was fun playing in the rain, with our legs dipped in water upto the knee, riding bicycles without holding the handle, catching baby sparrows (poor things just always died), sitting on the floor in school and writing on slates.

Moving to Indore

My mom had to pursue MS in Obstetrics and Gynaecology, so she had to move to Indore. As a by-product, I applied in various schools in Indore. I tried to mug up English sentences, and somehow made it through The Daly College. I was slowly learning urban ways, learning English. In the initial years, I used to act like a villager - discipline, table manners, English - I was far from those things. The only strengths I had were - my parents, my upbringing, my grasping power.

In the early years, I didn’t really know what friendship means. And I was very very shy. Maybe because everyone else was so urban, and I was a villager. I didn’t want to come into the limelight. All children in my school belonged to rich families, had all the luxuries. Whereas, my family was barely affording to pay the school fees. I am really thankful to my parents, that never let me feel any scarcity. Nevertheless, I learnt the value of things, the value of money, the value of morals, the value of relations.

In the journey, I found some people that have become the treasures of my life. Tapan, Aniruddha, Piyush, Rahul, Swapnil, Riya, Prerna, Vijay bhaiya, Jayant bhaiya, Chhotu - to name a few. To describe what each one means to me would need a whole blog in itself.

My life during my schooling taught me morals, discipline, English, Hindi, Geography, … , Computer Science, Chemistry, Physics, Mathematics, Civics, … and many more. I was a package oozing with energy and knowledge. I was someone without experience, without the knowledge of working under harsh conditions, under pressure, untouched by evil people, untouched by harsh realities. I had friendships, but they had not taken the test of time.

IIIT, Hyderabad

When I came to college, it was a different environment. A mixture of diverse cultures, but still very like minded people. Everyone from a science background, everyone studying computer science. I promised to myself to build a different image of myself in this new lot. A strong confident image, an extrovert, a popular guy. And as I read it somewhere, you become what you feel you are. Slowly over these years, I transformed into this new being.

I used to feel that all this happened in the blink of an eye. Today, I read through my entire blog, recollected my life in IIIT. And it was pleasantly surprising that I went through a process, an era - pressures, deadlines, fears, confusions, friendships, relations, distances, harsh conditions, competition, expectations and much more - all this shaped me into what I am today. I found some wonderful friends during my college years too.

My old friendships, and the new ones went through various phases - long distances, no contact, fights, expectations, disagreements - and some of them faded away or abruptly ended. The strong ones remained, and still do. And I thank god that all these tests of time exist. They help us figure out the real friendships, the real relations, the best friends in life.

What makes me what I am today?

To  answer this, I need to answer what I am.

Anurag Singh Rana, 23 years, Male, Single, Software Engineer, Yahoo! India Research and development, Bachelor of technology in Computer Science and Engineering (Honors in Computer Vision), A Daly College Indore passout, 92% CBSE 12th Board, Secretary of the Computer Club at DC - thats pretty much my resume I guess.

Anurag Singh Rana, a great friend, a knowledgeable person, a dependable person, a sweet funny guy, a person with morals, a person who isn’t evil - thats how some people around think about me.

Anurag Singh Rana, a good(?) writer, a blogger, a person who is online 24/7, a person great at chatting, a gossiper - thats how some people online think about me.

Anurag Singh Rana, a very lively person, a joker, a person you’d want around in celebrations and outings and parties and weddings - thoughts of another set of people.

Anurag Singh Rana, a sick person, a very backward orthodox person, who doesn’t accept new ways, who is against freedom, who is very narrow-minded, who is selfish and evil - there are some people who think this too.

What has made me all this? First of all, my parents and my family. My dad who has forever been a role model for me - punctual, focused, noble, motivating, positive, morally correct, humble, down to earth, inquisitive, ever-improving - these are some of his qualities which I admire and try to inculcate in myself.

Next is my upbringing, the school, the teachers, the constraints and luxuries, the classmates, the friends - which built a solid base, a foundation of the building that is me. My college gave me the exposure, the freedom, the responsibility, a rehearsal for the real world, the power to differentiate between good and bad, decision making ability. It made me realize who are my real friends, whom can I trust and not trust.

Finally, the job at Yahoo! It was a thrilling experience, and I am still living it. This job gave me the wings to fly, to celebrate my life, to feel proud of it. It gave me the confidence - YES, I CAN.

If I try to assimilate all this, one would feel I am what makes me what I am. However, the truth is, I am a nobody if you all are not in my life - my family, my friends, my teachers, my colleagues. I am not proud because I’ve become someone superior. I am proud because you all have succeeded in your efforts, in your contributions, in your hopes. And I promise you all that I will continue to value all this, cherish every moment you all give me, and be a good person.

I am not proud of everything that happened in my life. I did mistakes, sometimes I deliberately did wrong. There are a lot of things I would like to erase from my life. And I am thankful to all of you for accepting me with all of those mistakes too. For the ones who kicked me away, I don’t give a hippos ass.

PS: This was supposed to be my birthday speech, got delayed by a few fortnights.

PS1: Start critisizing me people, or I’ll go out of control and bore you more.

PS2: Okay I am shutting up now.

Have you ever felt that someone is watching you? As if all your actions are being telecast on someone’s screen. That all your senses, vision, hearing, touch are being felt by someone else, by some really advanced technology? A lot of times, I feel this happening to me.

Every morning I get ready, walk down to the parking space, put on the FM radio in my ears, put on the helmet, unlock my bike, roll it down the slope, press the ignition and I am flying on the road. The view from inside the helmet and the music in my ears, the wind blowing against my face, the swiftness of my bike and the way it flies like an aeroplane on the road, swinging, braking, accelerating - I feel as if someone else is witnessing all these, as they happen.

Maybe I’m a split personality, an actor and a spectator. Really weird thought, has it happened to you ever?

Inertia - in simple words, resistance to change. Most people, the biggest example being myself, suffer from some kind of inertia all the time. The reasons are obvious, change is something new, uncertain, not so familiar. Change requires us to adjust and adapt. Change requires us to break the monotone and do something that’s not ruitine.

The comfort of continuing the same course of action is so huge that people even fight back to resist any change, be it good or bad for them. The main thing to understand here is, change is inevitable. Its like trying to resist moving forward while you’re floating on a boat in the middle of a river. The only sensible thing to do is to steer forward with the waves.

The first step is the hardest. Its like setting your foot on the moon. There is no certainty. When you’ve taken the first step, you can get a feel of how the surface is, and you can plan the second one. In no time, you’d be jumping around the rocks, wondering why didn’t you come here before.

Stability - in simple words, resistance to change. Is this a typo? Remember the chemistry classes back in school? Inert gases (Helium, Neon, etc.) are stable. They don’t need to change their state, they don’t need to combine with other atoms to become stable. They never change.

When you cook food, the temperature changes from 37 degrees Celsius to 200 degrees Celsius. What if the container changed its state from solid to liquid? What if the burner itself melted? What if the tectonic plate below your home moved, and your house sank? Changes open new doors, but you expect that some things will remain like they were. You depend on them to not change, or else.

In some sense, inertia and stability are synonyms. However, one represents the cons of resisting changes, and another represents the pros of resisting changes. Here’s hoping that this new year, you kick away your inertia but retain your stability.

PS: Hey everyone, I’m back after a long break. Lot of things to share, good and bad, happy and sad, keep reading.

PS2: Happy New Year 2009, am I too late?

People from a third world country, backward, undeveloped, poor, uneducated, orthodox - these are some synonyms to the citizens of countries like India. If a multipartite interaction involves Americans and Indians, there is an implicit sense of superiority with the American.

The American can feel proud that his country is more developed, more modern, more technologically advanced, more powerful and so on. The Indian on the other hand, who is already angered and frustrated with the system, feels inferior, weak and backward in comparison to the American.

Ever since I’ve been reborn into my second life, I have had an opportunity to interact with various kinds of people from across the globe. In my second life, I’ve discovered that I am in no way inferior to an average American. And in some aspects, I’ve this strange sense of superiority over them.

We (referring to educated Indians living in one of the cities of India) are a collage, a fine masterpiece. Take the flour of India, mixed with salts of its culture, ethics, rituals, seasons and festivals, moistened by the water of patriotism to make the core. Put it in the oil of English education and fry till its nice and glowing. Dip it in some flavors of America, its food, its movies, its music, its way of life. Then, sprinkle some Desi music, movies and cricket. Serve it with the ketchup of globalism. That is what we are!

When I am in American company, I can talk in English, understand their ways and respond. When I am with Indians, I can talk in Hindi, connect with them and so on. This explicit difference of me being able to speak and mingle with both kinds of people gives me a sense of superiority. It tells me that I am a richer person from within. I know more traits, more cultures, more cuisines, more festivals, more languages and more ways of life than an average American.

India is diverse, its people are diverse too. The third diversity exists in each Indian himself. That of being a blend of Indian-ness, American-ness and Global. I’ll end it with a song,

Mera joota hai japani, patloon inglistani,

sar pe laal topi roosi, fir bhi dil hai hindustani !!

(TRANSLATION:

My shoe is made in Japan, the pants are from England,

A Russian hat on my head, but still my heart is Indian.)

Doors creaking, wind blowing, sounds of ghosts - all these thoughts have gripped Anjali as she is sitting at the corner of her dark bedroom, gripping the head of her husband Rahul, which is kept on her lap. She is scared in this horrifying state, with no one to come to her rescue. Even her husband’s company isn’t enough.

Three years ago, Anjali fell in love with Rahul, a software engineer. And as it happens generally, they got married and settled together in Mumbai. Everything was like a dream come true for them. Every morning was full of surprises, smiles and love. So were the nights and most of the daytime. She was living so many moments and making so many memories, that its hard to hold them without spilling. But when your life is on the peak, why would you care to remember sweet old memories when every moment is a memory.

Today, there is nothing left but those memories. Its not that their love is lost or they quarrel a lot. Actually, this is the time when they love each other the most. Still some issues remain. She hasn’t heard his voice since an year now. And it has been that long since he said something to her in any other form.

When they got engaged, they used to talk all day all night and beyond it. People say how much can you talk to a person, and about what. But they proved everyone wrong. Whatever came to her heart, she used to pour out on him. And he used to guide her well, protecting her from the world, coming to her rescue whenever she needed support and so on. He was the one whom she used to run to for anything and everything.

She keeps his head on her lap and keeps looking at him. Sometimes she smiles at him, kisses him. And sometimes, suddenly she’d start crying, as if pleading for something. Eventually, they’d both be in tears, helplessly lonely.

Rahul had gone away for some meeting for a week, and both of them were longing to meet. He had a flight on Sunday morning, but Anjali couldn’t wait that long. She kept on asking him to make it earlier. Finally, he gave up and took a Saturday evening flight. The flight got a little delayed due to rains. Rahul reached Mumbai at 2 am. Anjali was worried all night, waiting for him to call up.

Her half awake scared state was only broken by a phone ring in the morning. They told her that Rahul’s body was found in his car, which had smashed into a tree at 2:30 am. Her heart sank. She thought she had lost him. But fate didn’t have something that easy for her in store.

A month later, doctors told Anjali that Rahul’s spine was completely crushed in the accident. He can still hear her and see her. But neither can he speak or do anything else below his neck. Since that day to now, every night she sleeps crying with him, thinking of all the old memories, trying to recollect his voice, his touch, his love.